The allure of (or lack thereof) the cheesy romance novel

I haven't read one of these in years, which is saying quite a lot, knowing the fact that I devoured them in secondary school. On a whim (I experience these things pretty often) I decided to read one and selected Nora Robert's In Dreams. Who tell me to make that mistake?

It started off innocently enough (well as innocently as these things can go), where beautiful woman drives through forest in storm and crashes into a tree. Miraculously, bruised and conveniently dazed she stumbles onto a castle where - coincidentally - a hot, well-muscled magician of a man is imprisoned by the very trees that crashed this damsel-in-distress' car. Woe is she.

Then, it all goes downhill. Woman thinks hot man is psycho but is "strangely drawn to him" because she imagines his engorged member doing dirty, dirty things to her. Hot magician knows that this sable-haired temptress is "his woman" and decides to claim her for his own. (Hot magician will also be known as hot caveman from now on.) He does a couple parlour tricks and she's in love with him by page 67. They make ze hot and sexy love by page 84. They have an argument by page 90. After that, I found it very hard to read any more.

Bullcrap! Is that how normal, healthy adult relationships go? This is the fodder I was fed in my tender teen-aged years. No wonder I have screwed up ideas of love and relationships. No wonder my idea of a perfect man is a Fabio look-alike (well, not really, Fabio is actually pretty gross in my honest opinion.) I understand infatuation and puppy love but to fall head over heels in love with someone in a matter of hours... is that even remotely possible?

Love takes time, blood, sweat and tears to forge, not to mention the relationship that goes along with it, so why is it so hard to show the not-so-glamorous part of romance? Why do we delude ourselves in to thinking that love...and life for that matter is that easy? Because we want to believe that love can happen that way and that's fine. I mean, who doesn't want to be swept of their feet by a handsome stranger (kidnappings do not count) but all I ask is *they* would show a little social responsibility and show when the handsome stranger becomes a good-looking boyfriend/husband. When he starts burping and scratching his ass around you. When you have huge arguments about the silliest things. When he lets himself go... and demands you keep up your physique. When you find those flaws you cannot handle. When the bad habits start to show. Gimme the nitty-gritty that comes after the strategically placed and misleading "The End" or "Happily ever after".

1 Comment:

  1. earthprincess said...
    funny post! I guess thats one book I'll not be picking up, nice to see another trini too

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